MsTiara’s Thoughts

Tonight I almost got myself killed. It was one of those stupid moments of driving, you are lost and you go to make a left, the light is green, it doesn’t look like anyone is coming (but you are distracted) and you make the left while a truck is speeding at you at 60mph. The strangest thing, I knew it was going to hit me and I knew that I was pretty much not going to survive, I slipped into that time stream where I could hear the crunch and feel the pain right before oblivion. The thought ran through my head, I am not read to die yet. As I thought it, the truck seemed to slow almost to a stop very far away from my car as if it wasn’t close at all and I made my turn and crept along the street trying to get my self back into my body. The driver of the truck must have had the same experience, because he made a U-turn to get back to where I was. I rolled down my window and he rolled down his. I looked at him and said, “thank you.” He looked at me and said “do you know how lucky you are?” All I could say back was, “yes, I do and thank you for looking out for me.” That was it and we both drove on.

There is many theories that this life we live today is created by the story we write for ourselves. Sometimes it is before our birth and other times it is as we are living it. We choose our drama and we write the players in and even write the situations and just as in a story, the dialogue has a theme, a theme repeat over and over again to ourselves and others. If you don’t like the story, you have the choice to re-write it, change it or even just throw it away and start all over again.

I was of surfing the world of MySpace and we all get “it” that you just have no clue where you are going to end up or what you are going to see (my eyes, my eyes… and if you don’t get the reference, then please just carry on.)

I was flinging my way through picks and music and a picture appears before my eyes and in the background, on the wall, what do my eyes perceive? It is a Jackalope! Now being a native Californian who bought her property in Arizona over 15 years ago, I am very well versed on the lore of the famous Jackalope. I have been to the promised land… Well the Jackalope promised land, but it is a promised land none the less (should that be one word? Ahhh, but I digress) On the I-40 in the absolute middle of upper desert nowhere-ville is an exit for the Jackalope Run, which will take you to the famous (infamous? Almost empty? No one ever stops there?) run down gift show where you too can own a jackalope head for your wall.

Now the Jackalope lore is famous and I have had many a running joke, story line about them prior to the evil world of the internet where every one thinks they know something about nothing. Sadly, there is a horrid myth out there that the jackalope is a fake. Yes, I too gasped in shock and anger the first time I saw that. For, I have been to the promised land (yes, I am repeating myself, shoot me like the Jackalope that I am).

So, on that sad note, I will allow you all to go back to your regularly scheduled surfing.

As we wander through life we pass so very many people along the way that have no significance in our own personal stories. They are like extra’s on a movie set and some times, they are just one dimensional creatures that you wonder if you step a different way if they are complete on all sides. I was in NY over the weekend and in the time I spent with my different friends; I fell into that bubble where we were so into our own ‘moment’ that everyone else just wandered along to the side. We were laughing and crying and sometimes just walking along in silence, a world outside of this world and outside of this time. The only people that were allowed into our bubble were the ones we brought in ourselves.

My question or thought I guess, is why do we allow people into our stories that have negative impacts on us or cause mayhem to us? Is it because we all crave the drama of the situation and why can’t those people be like a good story, when their use is done, just disappear off of the written page and out of the story never to be seen again?

I was of surfing the world of MySpace and we all get “it” that you just have no clue where you are going to end up or what you are going to see (my eyes, my eyes… and if you don’t get the reference, then please just carry on.)

I was flinging my way through pics and music and a picture appears before my eyes and in the background, on the wall, what do my eyes perceive? It is a Jackalope! Now being a native Californian who bought her property in Arizona over 15 years ago, I am very well versed on the lore of the famous Jackalope. I have been to the promised land… Well the Jackalope promised land, but it is a promised land none the less (should that be one word? Ahhh, but I digress) On the I-40 in the absolute middle of upper desert nowhere-ville is an exit for the Jackalope Run, which will take you to the famous (infamous? Almost empty? No one ever stops there?) run down gift shop where you too can own a jackalope head for your wall.

Now the Jackalope lore is famous and I have had many a running joke, story line about them prior to the evil world of the internet where every one thinks they know something about nothing. Sadly, there is a horrid myth out there that the jackalope is a fake. Yes, I too gasped in shock and anger the first time I saw that. For, I have been to the promised land (yes, I am repeating myself, shoot me like the Jackalope that I am).

So, on that sad note, I will allow you all to go back to your regularly scheduled surfing.

Every morning I drive into work past a school. The kids there are probably kindergarten to maybe 8^th grade. I have been doing this drive for about 3 years now and I have grown a fascination at watching the kids and where they are in their development and trying to remember me at that time of my life.

This morning I saw a girl walking down the street with a mirror in one hand and make up in the other, putting it on during the walk because you know that her mom wouldn’t allow her to wear any so she has to do it behind her back. I remember in Juniour High my mom wouldn’t allow me to shave and how embarrassing that was as I had to go through gym class.

I must confess there is a part of me that wants to whisper in the mom’s ear “if you would sit with her and share the experience and teach her how to do it, you can stop so many lies from beginning and also teach her the right way to do it.” But, instead, I continue to drive and that part of my life fell back into the past.

“Can we go fly?” I ask

“Where do you want to fly to?” He says

“Anywhere but here…” was my reply.

So we each closed our eyes and reached out our souls and in that single breath of connection we were flying. As the rest of the world was left behind it was two souls as one flying through the universe and the world of dreams.