A Jonathan Carroll quote from his new novel (unnamed on his website):
“The thing that kept him standing still was the sudden realization that he felt no curiosity about where she was going now, none. He had not been curious about her life for a long time. What she did with her days, what she thought about things, what mattered or distressed her– he was indifferent. It was ambient sound to him. Granted, some was louder and some softer. Generally though it was mostly background noise, or the soft tune playing in an elevator as you ascend to your floor. Familiar and trivial, the most effect it had was to stay in your mind a few seconds after you left the elevator. Perhaps you whistled some notes of it before moving on to what mattered, but no more. For years she had been one of the most important parts of his life. But in recent times what she did, what she thought, where she went, or what left her lips was like hearing the song ‘Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head’ for the 1,000th time.”
from the new novel
I have been fascinated by the Polyamory blogs that deal so much with something called New Relationship Energy (NRE). NRE is the feeling you get when you first meet someone, that fascination of the person, the need to know what they are thinking and who they are. You learn about their interests and they slowly become yours. You wait with bated breath for the ding of the email and you watch with fascination their movements. They make you smile, everything is special. But, NRE is not something that lasts, no matter how much you love someone, it fades away… In the world we live in today, we don’t like those things that feel familiar anymore, instead of exploring with each other all of a sudden it is boring and sedate and you know longer have those moments of wanting to go out and experience. Then you see someone else and they have new thoughts and we don’t know their patterns and they find you fascinating, so you throw away the old and pick up the new.
I find this sad, true but sad. We live in a world where we have instant gratification and if we make a mistake it is as easy as the back key or the delete button. So, in a relationship as they are surfing through life, if they get bored they just click the channel button or cause drama in the relationship to keep them entertained, at least for a little while.
