I received the following email in my FaceBook account today and it pissed me off and forced me to get on my soapbox. I know that this person is misguided and trying to do the right thing, but in the end it shows the total disregard for the true force of the female. I earn double the amount of men in the relative same position as me and I have freedoms and choices opened to me that all I have to do is go out and decide I want them. These things come to me not because I am a woman, but because I have worked and sacrificed to live the life I want to live. The fact that someone has to act ‘special’ around me or give me things just because I am a woman? grrrr….
Practical things men can do to end sexism
Howdy! The person doing the NOMAS.org website asked council members to come up with practical concrete things men can do to end sexism. Lots of these lists have heady consciousness-raising items, and we wanted practical items. I’m writing to some of the powerful women in my and my beloved’s circles and wondering if there are any things YOU would add to this list. Here’s what I was sent, followed by a few I’m planning to send in.
1. Don’t interrupt women when they speak.
2. Support women’s leadership and help elect women to political office.
3. Don’t support the pornography and sex industry.
4. Don’t condone, laugh at, or tell sexist jokes or stories.
5. Listen, believe, and be accountable to women and their stories.
6. Share responsibility for birth control and reproductive health and safety.
7. Be the kind of father you always wanted to have.
8. Be the kind of partner you would want your daughter’s partner to be.
9. Tell the women and men in your life that you love them, out loud.
10. Support women’s equality in education, sports, and in the workplace.
11. Speak up when you see violence or abuse directed at women or children.
12. Don’t make fun of or invalidate anyone’s emotional reactions.
Talk to someone who does have power in your circles (boss, clergy, politician) and when there’s an issue to be addressed, recommend to them a woman you trust.
Next time you have a job to be done, find a local LGBT directory, and see if there’s someone in there who can do that job.
Next time you see anti-choice protesters at Planned Parenthood, stop in and make a cash donation, no matter how small, and then tell the protesters that you’ve done so.
When you see a woman behaving badly, choose to let other women make that observation to her.
When telling a story about bad behavior, think of a way of telling it that does not perpetuate stereotypes.
My reply:
My answer may piss off all the feminist out there, but if you want to end sexism, strop treating me ’special’. The fact that people have to even hold meetings on this subject or write out the above items to me is very demeaning and belittling and makes me feel like I am a second class citizen that needs to be treated differently because I can’t do it myself.
You want to end sexism? Here is a very simple answer… Treat everyone regardless of sex, gender, race, religion or socio-economic stratosphere as a human being that deserves respect and kindness. Replace every comment above where you called out ‘females, those poor second class citizens who need our help cause they can’t help themselves’ with a non specifying nomenclature.
THAT alone will go very far in changing the ENTIRE world.
Off my soap box now.
