MsTiara’s Thoughts

Dreams are rumoured to be a link into our subconscious, a way for us to work through the troubles and joys of our lives. In my childhood days I would dream vividly and brightly, I had quite an imagination and fantasy world as a child. As I got older I stopped remembering my dreams or even remembering if I dreamed at all.

About 6 months ago or maybe it was a year as time has a way of disappearing so quickly. So, about a year ago I downloaded a meditation/chant album and started to play it every night before I disappeared into the slumberlands. Normally I just listen to it for 20 minutes as the bells ring me into sleep and it has been very effective in allowing me to be more conscious of my dreams. However, for the last couple of nights, my phone has put it on repeat and I am waking up several hours later with it still playing, I then shut it down and go back to sleep.

But, my dreams. Such amazing and detailed dreams. I wish they were based in the world of fantasy with bright colors and vivid plot lines, but they seem to be focused around people of the past.

In one, there was a person that I considered a mentor from when I started working in the corporate/entertainment world. His name was Carl and he was someone I admired and respected. I would watch how he dealt with people and situations and I took the honesty, bluntness and compassion with me as I moved through life. In this dream, I was at his house for some unknown reason. I was a drop in and we hadn’t seen each other for over 15 years, but he graciously let me into his house and made me welcome. He had a cat that kept on weaving around his neck, a maine coon I believe, filled with fur and intelligence. For some reason, we ended out at his pool and we were talking about nothing much of all. All I remember was this acceptance of who I was and who I became. A friend of his stopped in, a professor who had been travelling and shared with me that he wrote books of his travels, my interest was caught and as I went to ask him for details, I woke up.

The next night, I dreamt about being out at a lake type of home with a group of people I couldn’t place in this life, but also who I felt acceptance from. After several days have passed since I had the dream and now, I don’t remember much of the dream other than Beaux and I sharing a moment at the end of it. We shared a smile over some moment and he patted me on the head, then he got an introspective look on his face as he looked at me and said “I missed that” and all of a sudden a connection of the soul that was severed was reconnected.

As we go through our lifetimes there are people that matter, those deep connections that are an integral part of who we are. We recognize them instantly as we go through life. We know them. Sometimes they are catalyst to us and sometimes we are a catalyst to them. And sometimes they are just there to be our friends and we enjoy each other and the world around us as we live.

So, I am a magician/wizard/scientist and I go to some type of awards ceremony. The back of the stage is outside and it is vast, an alien land. The skies are dark, velvety and midnight blue. The land is flat and dark. The place seems to be set in a vast outdoor cathedral.

The other magicians/wizards/scientists are all there to present their findings for some competition? Black robes, faces masked out. Each goes forward and presents their findings, all hold a blue bottle in their hands that is glowing and each presents the same thing, pheromones.

I go to step up for my presentation, instead of being an observer, I am now in my body and I am going to present true magic, what it is I don’t know, because as I step up to the curtain to go before the council, a creature in a black robe and a glowing white mask flies up to me (yes, flies/floats) from out of nowhere. It is me from the future/past… Was that what I was presenting, the ability to move through time?

All the other presenters get excited and try to grab this other me. But, he/she (gender is in question) grabs my arm and tries to convey that we are the same and then we are transported to a rock further away in the alien landscape. It is still dark, but I get the impression it isn’t night but that is the way it always is. It is warm, comfortable but warm.

As we stand there and this future me in the black robe, white glowing mask conveys information to me without me talking, I am different, I am no longer all knowing, powerful, I am now more human?

The future me goes away and as I stand there, the other me, sister, lover, comes up to me, but now she has someone else with her, someone I love, someone who is connected to me.

We head off to our homes. Two separate homes, connected. They are in a place with molten lava. But it is not burning or uncomfortable, just red and moving like water.

There is some sort of a party, Halloween, haunted house thing we are trying to get ready for.

Moving, I just moved in? House has many rooms. The female comes over to help, do what I don’t know…

Then my alarm goes off.

I felt affection, love, acceptance, safe. Kept on changing perspective from knowledge inside of my head..

I had a strange dream upon waking this morning. I was at the copy machine waiting for copies, but as I stood there, people started coming in and chatting and my copies were printing over other printed stuff. I opened up the copier and flipped through the paper in there but all the paper was pre-printed with other stuff. Bright color prints, lots of aqua green, graphs, well defined professional prints, almost a quarterly report. Then I went to get a new ream of paper, but as I opened it up, it was also printed with the same type of printing. More people came in waiting to print, but every reamed I opened was already printed on. I stepped to the side of the printer to let other people get their copies as I went and tried to find a new ream of paper, but every ream I burst open was already printed on.

Strange dream, there was neither ending nor resolution.

I don’t know what to think of the dream. I kept on feeling like I had stuff to do, but I was holding things and people up, a pest, not that important at the time, everyone chatting but not really hearing them.

As I think back, I feel that the times were changing, that elements were writing over the old or pre-defined. Things were not changing as much as being written over.

The rules have changed, what was, is no more.

There is a mist so thick you can’t see anything but shadows moving. No sound, no thought. I move among the mist formless. Tall and lithe with hair down to my knees a straight blondish brown. My face is calm, perfect but not beautiful and not full of life but serene. I have seen life, I have seen death. I wander the path between times, stopping and listening as I go, but nothing captures me. Am I a goddess or a druidess, I do not know. Maybe a princess of the Tuatha danaan, knowledgeable about the vibrations of life but never experiencing it.

As I wander through the gray shadows of time, I catch a voice, I glimpse a golden light. I hide in the depths of the shadows to watch from the heart of a tree who shines lighter for the time I link with it. I see on a rock a young man with hair as dark as the night and eyes as green as the tree’s leaves I am bound too. As I watch I see kids at his feet and couples gathered around him listening to the stories he tells and the songs he sings. As he speaks I feel his energy move out and twine with mine linking us.

He looks toward the tree and I swear he can see me even though I am only a sprit. I hear his voice in my head “sweet goddess, come and walk with me under the moonlight and share your story with me. I shall meet you by the standing stone as the sun sets and breathes it’s last breath across the land.”

I whisper back into his head, “to see the Tuatha is to forever be bound to seeing things that humans are not meant to see. Are you sure?”

“I can already see you so it is something that is meant to be.”

As he finished his story, the bard smiled to his audience and they all laughed in delight as he waved good bye.

I continued to watch the people as they talked and laughed amongst themselves and for a moment I envied them even though their lives would be so short, but a breath to me in my life. But the joy they showed in those moments…

As the sun breathed its last breath across the land and the full moon showed its face to the world, I stepped from the path of the time before time into the world of now. As I came into form, I heard the sigh of the bard as he stepped into the moons light.

“You came, you are not another dream.” He said.

“Who are you?” I queried, “that I could feel you outside the rhythms of life?”

“So the gods and goddesses don’t know all?” He said

“I can tell you the past and the future, I can take you to anywhere in the universe and I can merge with anything that has life. But, I can’t place you and yet I know you better than I know myself and I don’t know why.” I said.

At these words he reached out his hand and touched my cheek and our energy blended and I knew. I just knew.

We spent that day and night and many years walking and talking. I taught him the paths of the Tuatha and he taught me life. As years went by and our friendship became but words for we were truly one, his physical body that he chose in that lifetime aged and I stayed the same. I tried to talk him into no longer aging and to come and live with me outside of time. But he would now. He said that life was about living and therefore about dying, that he chose to manifest in human form to experience the joys and disappointments of this life. As his time in the physical world drew to an end, he and I sat against the trees in the sacred Tuatha white oak grove. Around me were my ancestors and their energy surrounding me, he asked if in the next lifetime if I would like to join him to experience what it meant to be in physical form.

I feared that I was not strong enough, that if I couldn’t find him or he couldn’t fine me that I wouldn’t be able to make it through the emotions of being alive.

He looked at me with his beautiful eyes, now worn from age but still filled with the beauty of his soul, “we are one, bonded since before time began and bonded till there is nothing more. We will always find each other no matter what or when or how. But, it is makes you feel better we will bond our physical beings together here in this sacred grove.” From his pocket he took two perfect earrings each wrapped with the silver white oaks and kissed by the sun and cried upon by the moon and blessed by the starts. He handed me one and I held the other. He reached out and placed the point on my right ear and I placed mine on his left and we each pressed down at the same time and linked our physical life forces for all eternity.