MsTiara’s Thoughts

Perspective

The world is always the same, but at the same time totally different depending on where you are relative to time and distance. This, my friends, is the very essence of relativity.

I have become in the last 10 years a firm believer that we are in control of our own story, who I am and what I am is determined by my own perspective of my own story.

Look back at your life and determine how you want to describe it, is it fraught with your hardships or is it filled with adventure? Are you the type that talks about glorious moments in time or only about the tragedies? At the end of the day, what does your mind dwell on? What was important to you, what is your story? Who and what you are is determined by that story.

My childhood was filled with very distinct and darkness filled moments, I can point to each and everyone and step into that moments emotions as if it happened yesterday. Some were filled with terror, others darkness and some filled with so many conflicting emotions that my inner soul could only find the smallest darkest corner and hide in silence, in fear that the terror would find me. It took years to be able to coax my soul out and promise her the joys of the world instead of the terror, to learn to dwell in the beauty of the world instead of the hate.

And life goes on…

But, every now and then we are faced with the reminders of the past painful moments in time and you have to deal with the emotions and the moment or you will allow the venom to win.

When I was 17, I was lost in the world. Who I was and what I was going to be was still to be determined. I graduated from High School on night, went to the graduation party at Disneyland and the next morning flew to Japan with my Grandmother.

I was shy, soft spoken, but had a very strong internal core that had been forged by walking through the depths of hell and I was not going to be anyone’s victim. I was not a conformist and I wasn’t going to be manipulated

My grandmother was not a nice person. A sociopath looking to have a Barbie doll she could show off to the world. What happened over the next couple of weeks was hell and manipulation and a true defining of what evil there is in the world hidden behind the façade of someone who is supposed to nurture you and protect you. I was powerless and made to feel worthless. A child lost in a foreign land with the blinders of youth ripped away.

I can look back, I can describe individual moments I can be that lost little child again being told I am worthless, that I am nothing. I can tell you the feeling of being in an airport in a foreign country with no money, alone, my plane 4 hours late, not understanding the language, reading a letter so filled with hate and evil addressed to me and how in moments of pain so intense that it is easier to become nothing.

How in life you make tough choices and decisions where you determine who and what you are going to be and then you become it. It may take you awhile but you become it.

But then you look at perspective. The child then who will always be capture in that moment in time with all those feelings and emotions and the adult now looking back with the eyes and experiences of someone who knows what it takes to live.

My grandmother filled with evil and hate who has caused damage to everyone she has ever touched is now pitiful and lost in the world she created in her head, where her only happiness is to live in a world of hate and therefore she has found her own hell on earth and I pity her.

The adult me looks back at the child and wishes she had made other choices and that she didn’t internalize someone else’s evil as her own, but also knows that pivotal moment allowed me to become who I am and from the perspective of time knows that moment was necessary and that is part of the story of who I am the same way that the positive story of my visit to Mt Fuji with a Japanese family climbing the mountain, making paper art and eating rice on a stick as the perfect blue sky smiled down at me as the mountain rose to its peak covered in snow, how on the drive back we stopped at a stand that made okonomiaki and I laughed in joy at the unusualness of the dish and fell in love with it.

I can remember going with my Japanese friends to their school and sitting in a class of 300 why the instructor spoke in Japanese but something about how he taught was so clear that I was able to understand the meaning behind his lessons, how afterwards we went to pizza hut and I had tuna pizza (yeah, it wasn’t that great) and we stopped at a toilet so my friends could show me the hole in the ground. Joy and laughter and girls being girls.

My favorite moment is an afternoon having tea with an older Japanese woman helped shape me and my life perspectives. We spoke of her life and schooling she introduced me to her father who was a bust made of him where his spirit dwelled and watched over her. How we talked religion and politics and life. How I learned how ignorant I was about so much and how every moment should be about experiencing and learning. How in an afternoon of tea I became so much more than I ever could be if it wasn’t for that single moment in time.

All the same story all related from a different perspective all part of who I am.

Hello Amazon,

I just wanted to share with you how much I adore my Kindle.  I travel over 11 months a year and am constantly on the road, I adore having ‘most’ of my library with me at all times.  It is wonderful.

Now comes the ’suggestions’

1. Management of books - I currently only have about 300 books on my device, these encompass subjects from classics, romance, mystery, to just hmmm…  this looks interesting.  However, they are all in one mass location and I have to sort through them to get to what I want (or even LOSE what I want to read).  at this time I have probably about 20 books that are on my ‘to read’ list but they are all mixed up with my I have referenced or just re-read one of my favorites.  So, what would be nice is the ability to have folders.  Folder that I name (not standard ones).  This will allow me to keep my silly romances away from my business books at the same time as me having a go to folder of books that I want to read.
2. Color screen an back lit screens - This one was kind of interesting, I know that there is a group of people that LIKE the fact their Kindle is like paper and when I said I missed the fact that my screen wasn’t lit, they were surprised and asked me if it would hurt my eyes.  I read books for over 11 months on my iPhone with the lit screen.  I loved the light and I hate nigh lights which are more likely to hurt my eyes.  Going down that path, why not have a color screen?  The world is changing at a rapid pace and electronic books that look like paper is not necessary.  I am already thinking about passing my Kindle on (I just got it for Xmas) in the concept of looking at a Tablet instead.  But, I WANT to stay with Amazon and keep my books with Amazon.  What your company has done and its ability to continuously think of me as a consumer is something that I support.
3. Publishers and them starting to refuse to publish in electronic versions certain books for up to 6 months after the main book is out.  This angers me greatly.  I am more than willing to pay a higher price on an electronic book that just came out in hardback as long as I can read it as soon as it comes out.  Now mind you, there are very few books that I have that feeling with and they all encompass my favorite authors and series.  But, I will not be buying any hardback books and I am refusing to even buy paperback books anymore.  My library at home can not take any more and I am not becoming very picky on what gets kept in physical form these days.
4. 2 GB of space and no additional memory - 300 books is already taking up a lot of space on my Kindle.  I can see 2gb being very quickly consumed before the end of this year.  Does that mean I have to go buy another Kindle?  (yes, I know about on line archiving, but that is everyone’s worse nightmare putting it all into one company and something happening to all your information).  External memory or more memory would be greatly appreciated.
5. Speed of the processor - This one surprised me greatly.  My Kindle is slow.  It is slow at turning a page, it is slow at finding a book and it is slow at opening a book.  Faster processor please.

Now, I am very aware that pretty much everything I described almost calls for a ‘tablet’ style computer (yes, a touch screen would be very nice too) but at the current price of the Kindle you are almost into the Tablet cost and I would support purchasing a Kindle/Tablet/Android item that is focused and branded by Amazon.

Thank you very much for listening and for being a wonderful company,

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2M07a1/www.raptitude.com/2009/07/88-important-truths-ive-learned-about-life//r:t

88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life

by David on July 2, 2009

Everyone gets drilled with certain lessons in life.  Sometimes it takes repeated demonstrations of a given law of life to really get it into your skull, and other times one powerful experience drives the point home once forever.  Here are 88 things I’ve discovered about life, the world, and its inhabitants by this point in my short time on earth.

1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.

2. It is 100 times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.

3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.

4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.

5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.

6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.

7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.

8. If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.

9. Yelling always makes things worse.

10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.

11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.

12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.

14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.

15. Nobody has it all figured out.

16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.

17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.

19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.

20. People embellish everything, as a rule.

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive.  And we are.

23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds.  Watch and see.

24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.

26. Credit card debt devours souls.

27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.

28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.

29. A person who is unafraid to present an unedited version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort.  It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.

32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.

33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.

34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.

35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match one’s own.

36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.

37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.

38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.

39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.

40. Whoever you are, you will die.  To know and understand that means you are alive.

41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.

42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.

43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes.  But the wisdom is still in there.

44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves.  Alleviating their suffering will probably remove their inclination to create it for others.

45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.

46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.

47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.

49. Emotions exist to make us heavily biased towards or against something.  This hinders as often as it helps.

50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be.  It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.

51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism.  Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.

52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.

53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.

54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.

55. By default, people think far too much.

56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress.  You’ll spend a third of your life using it.

57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.

58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.

59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.

60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.

61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.

62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.

63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.

64. Words are immensely powerful.  One cruel remark can wound someone for life.

65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.

66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.

67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.

68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.

69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the act of fearing them.

70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.

71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.

72. There are not enough women in positions of power.  The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.

73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible.  When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.

74. A good nine out of ten bad things I worry about never happen.  A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.

75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.

76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.

78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying.  Life is too short for that.  Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.

79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.

80. Breaking new ground only takes a tiny amount more effort than you’re used to giving.

81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors.  Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.

82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips.  I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.

83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.

84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.

85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.

86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.

87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.

88. Killing time is an atrocity.  It’s priceless, and it never grows back.

As I left my home in the Arizona White Mountains to drive to Albuquerque to catch my plane, I decided to try the road that my GPS is always telling me is the faster way to go. It is a series of back roads that cut through the Zuni Nation and up across the Continental Divide before passing the Ice Cave and heading to the main highway (I-40).

As I made the turn towards the New Mexico border the temperatures dropped to 23 degrees but all around me the Upper Desert sky was a crisp blue and the red rocks of the desert appeared to be something you would see in CGI not in the reality of the world we live in today.

There were several thoughts that ran through my mind on that 4 hour drive. Not only the beauty of the upper dessert but an appreciation for the caretaking that the Zuni people give to the mother earth. The entire area of the Four Corners is mineral rich and the land could earn billions of dollars for the selling of the mineral rights alone. Around Arizona and New Mexico you can see places where the land is stripped by slowly tearing mountains down and processing the land to pull the minerals from the soil, leaving behind dead earth and scars upon the land. But the Zuni Nation is untouched by mans machines and chemicals allowing you to catch a glimpse of what the Americas must have looked like prior to the White Man’s quest for land and money.

As I continued the drive I caught glimpses of mountains created by volcanoes and sculpted by the sea and ice flows with snow creating the perfect piece of art, painted there as if by a dream. It was a four hour drive that passed as if but a single breath was taken in and then released and I had to turn onto the I-40 and drive back to the land of modern technology.

I love my ‘toys’ and I am an electronics geek constantly marveling and acquiring the latest and greatest gadgetry. But, as I drove through the Zuni’s land I was reminded that technology is but a momentary pleasure that gives me a false sense that I am ‘living’ but truly living is stopping the car and getting rid of all the man made gadgetry and walking into the mountains and stopping and creating with my own hands and imagination and feeling the breath flowing through the body and the wind touching the skin and truly feeling.

I believe that when I go back home I need to take the time to stop and hike through the Zuni nation and reconnect with what is important.

I received the following email in my FaceBook account today and it pissed me off and forced me to get on my soapbox. I know that this person is misguided and trying to do the right thing, but in the end it shows the total disregard for the true force of the female. I earn double the amount of men in the relative same position as me and I have freedoms and choices opened to me that all I have to do is go out and decide I want them. These things come to me not because I am a woman, but because I have worked and sacrificed to live the life I want to live. The fact that someone has to act ‘special’ around me or give me things just because I am a woman? grrrr….

Practical things men can do to end sexism

Howdy! The person doing the NOMAS.org website asked council members to come up with practical concrete things men can do to end sexism. Lots of these lists have heady consciousness-raising items, and we wanted practical items. I’m writing to some of the powerful women in my and my beloved’s circles and wondering if there are any things YOU would add to this list. Here’s what I was sent, followed by a few I’m planning to send in.

1. Don’t interrupt women when they speak.
2. Support women’s leadership and help elect women to political office.
3. Don’t support the pornography and sex industry.
4. Don’t condone, laugh at, or tell sexist jokes or stories.
5. Listen, believe, and be accountable to women and their stories.
6. Share responsibility for birth control and reproductive health and safety.
7. Be the kind of father you always wanted to have.
8. Be the kind of partner you would want your daughter’s partner to be.
9. Tell the women and men in your life that you love them, out loud.
10. Support women’s equality in education, sports, and in the workplace.
11. Speak up when you see violence or abuse directed at women or children.
12. Don’t make fun of or invalidate anyone’s emotional reactions.

Talk to someone who does have power in your circles (boss, clergy, politician) and when there’s an issue to be addressed, recommend to them a woman you trust.

Next time you have a job to be done, find a local LGBT directory, and see if there’s someone in there who can do that job.

Next time you see anti-choice protesters at Planned Parenthood, stop in and make a cash donation, no matter how small, and then tell the protesters that you’ve done so.

When you see a woman behaving badly, choose to let other women make that observation to her.

When telling a story about bad behavior, think of a way of telling it that does not perpetuate stereotypes.

My reply:

My answer may piss off all the feminist out there, but if you want to end sexism, strop treating me ’special’. The fact that people have to even hold meetings on this subject or write out the above items to me is very demeaning and belittling and makes me feel like I am a second class citizen that needs to be treated differently because I can’t do it myself.

You want to end sexism? Here is a very simple answer… Treat everyone regardless of sex, gender, race, religion or socio-economic stratosphere as a human being that deserves respect and kindness. Replace every comment above where you called out ‘females, those poor second class citizens who need our help cause they can’t help themselves’ with a non specifying nomenclature.

THAT alone will go very far in changing the ENTIRE world.

Off my soap box now.

The most important power we have is the power to help select the lens through which we see reality - David Brooks.

Sometimes I go through life wishing I had the view point of everyone else, wouldn’t that be nice to just be able to fit in with the norm.  Other times I go through life wishing I had the great insight of the geniuses of our time, the ability to see beyond the mundane of reality and express my views in such a way that it touches everyone I come into contact with.

Each and every day we make choices, choices of who we are and what we are.

What makes us who we are?

I read a blog this morning which really started to get my mind running around inside of its shell. It was talking about a woman who had Alzheimer and their loved one looking on and the look of confusion and sense of loss on their faces. The slow insidious leaching of the persons memories till they wandered around in the world unable to recognize the people around them, unable to know what makes them essentially them, but the loved ones still loving the person. But, what makes them loveable? Each and every one of us has gone through life and ‘loved’ someone with everything that we are, whether it is a close friend (BFF) or it is a lover, and we have also felt that loss and confusion as the relationship ended, the person changed, where once was love now is hate or even worse disinterest. What is it that allows us to continue to love someone who does not know us, yet can’t continue to love someone who is still ‘sentient’?

In all my close friendships that I thought we would be in each other’s lives till the end of time, the end was not for lack of ‘nothing’ but more for the person starting to do damage to the other. At that point when they start to affect the essential ‘us’ where they start to damage our own identity and tatter our souls. Then you end up leaving to preserve your essential self.

But, what makes us who we are? Have you ever met someone and felt the ties that bind the souls together, the instant recognition? You do not know why or how or who they are, but there they are and you know that they are important to you, that energy, that resonation of two souls on the same frequency. You may only have met them for a minute, a heartbeat or a breath before you are parted again and sometimes you are lucky enough to know them for a lifetime.

Is the loved one who is looking on the person who has lost their sentient self, still resonating with the person’s energy or are they remembering past thoughts of the person that cannot be destroyed as there is no thought of destruction from the person? Does love exist regardless of the material person and is it always there at the soul level and we are all just struggling to understand the world that we are living in now? When sometimes it would be easier just to feel rather than think?

What makes us who we are?

—————————————-

The Blog that started me thinking:

At the end of the film A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT, after many struggles and setbacks the heroine is reunited with her adored fiancee. The only problem is the lover has suffered a grievous head wound that erased all of his memory. When they are reunited, he doesn’t know who she is. In Julie Christie’s recent film AWAY FROM HER, she plays a woman with Alzheimer’s Disease who gradually loses her memory and with it her ability to recognize her husband of many years. At the end of both stories the ones “left behind” look at their partners with equal amounts of longing and confusion because there they are right in front of them, but no, they aren’t “there” at all any more. In both cases it brings up the essential question– what makes us who we are? Our physical selves? Our memories? Our ties to other people? Our achievements (including our children)… Other, perhaps more ineffable/undefinable things? It’s stuff for a serious ontological discussion (or philosophy class), but also an intriguing question that can be batted back and forth across the ping pong table of your own mind when you’re in the bath tonight: what makes me who I am? If you took away this or that (my memory, or my sense of humor, or my eyesight, for example) would I still be me? Or would the loss of such things disappear me?

www.jonathanCarroll.com

What would happen if you stood in the world and could comprehend it with complete understanding? That no longer were you deceived by shadows, lies, or the stories that people make-up to try to comprehend why everything is the way it is?

Let’s say you knew for a certainty the truth about God, you understood creation, that the reason for war was explained. That people’s masks were gone and you knew who and what they really were.

What would happen if you could look at the sky and see the pattern and that the clouds could tell you what it sees? That you could travel with a thought and instantly be there.

The question is, do I have enough courage to look at the world with complete truth and determine what is?

Everyone knows Einstein’s famous formula of E=MC2 and the theory of relativity. A great physics concept which you can smile at, nod your head knowingly and move on. But many years ago, I read a quote in a book about how Einstein was just talking about life and how everything is relative from where you are standing; your reality has nothing to do with my reality.

This last week I had my teeth done, an old filling being pulled and replaced with an onlay. Now, I am the type of person that if there is a better way to do it, why not do it that way? Why should I have to suffer? So, I go to a Dental Spa when I have teeth work done. A wonderful place where you get seated in a nice comfy massage chair with a view of the Dallas skyline, headphones and music programmed to your tastes. While you are sitting there having your work done, a massage therapist comes in and gives you a hand and foot massage. Quite a nice setup which changes the whole Dental Experience, they even have laughing gas for those of us who would rather take a mental trip while we are having three hours of work done on our teeth.

Now, I am a natural type of girl. I eat healthy food, put very few chemicals in my body, drink little alcohol and have never done drugs. So, laughing gas is quite an experience for me. When I have my teeth cleaned it is a very small amount, just enough to relax, however when you have it for major dental work it is a whole new experience and perspective.

They got me all settled into the chair, we chatted for a bit and talked about them going in and tearing out the old mercury filling, taking an imprint and then their lab was going to create the new onlay while they cleaned up my chipped front tooth. After that, they would put in the new onlay, polish me up and send me on my way. I curled up in the chair and got all comfy with my warm neck pillow and blanky while they placed the laughing gas over my nose and put a piece of cotton in my mouth to numb the areas so I wouldn’t feel anything when they had to put the needle in. Then off I went for my 3 hour trip (which only felt like a half an hour). During the trip I would have slight interruptions to move my head back and bite on a block and a couple of saw sounds, but nothing too intrusive.

However, the trip was quite interesting. Time went so quickly and other times felt like it was forever for a second. Snapshots of the doctors conversations and a lot of brain time going on in my head. From my perspective everything had significance during that time. Each breath, each drool, a bit of a gag reflex when they took the molds, conversations I overheard about who was dating whom and a couple of dental comments about the new materials now in comparison to five years ago. I walked the hills in Ireland and visited times past. I even did a bit of flying through space in a cool space craft to visit a friend on another planet. There was one point when I was so focused on breathing and it was so slow that you wondered if I was even breathing at all. My perspective of the visit was completely different than the nurse and the doctor. I am sure in their world it was a standard routine dental visit, their view of the world was normal, mine was mind driven. I even spent time writing this blog in my head about perspective as I lay there.

Finally, it was all over and the gas was cleared from my head with oxygen. My tooth was done with no pain, no stress, I didn’t feel a thing. My front teeth were magically repaired and reshaped to fix the chip I had put in them and I went on with my life as if those 3 hours in my mind had never happened.

The dentist I go to is amazing, one of the top 5 cosmetic dentists in the United States, quite an artist and I always walk out of there feeling good about my smile. However, this is the first time I had to go in for major dental work in over 20 years. I don’t know why people fear the dentist when you have such a great experience. Then I remember the pain of the dentist giving a shot before the area was numb and how deep it goes into the skin and when it hits a nerve. Or when they start working on the teeth before the shot has time to take effect and the tenseness of your jaw muscles and the major headache you get at the end from the stress eating away at you. My view of going to the dentist is a pleasant experience where others is one of fear and loathing.

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” Henry Miller

“Perspective- Use it or Lose It. If you turned to this page, you’re forgetting that what is going on around you is not reality.” Think about that. Richard Bach - Illusions

A woman sits at the table alone eating her lunch while reading. She seems separated from the noise of the world around her, quiet, unconcerned, inside herself. A man approaches her and she seems to pull in and assess at the same time as a welcoming smile crosses her face. The man says something and whatever he said seems to touch something in her as her whole being changes and she opens up and the smile now comes from her entire being rather than just a façade. They talk a couple of minutes and then the man leaves. But the woman, as she continues to eat her lunch is different; she seems to now be shining and everyone who sees her feels a bit brighter.